My new normal

The last time I checked in here , I had so many feelings and no idea how long it was going to take me to feel settled and adjust to this new normal.

I can't put into words how challenging these last few months have been. I try to keep my head above water and have gratitude but then just out of nowhere a Tsunami comes straight for me and I feel so overwhelmed and anxious and lost ... All the expectations people have of me , but worse the expectations I have of myself, they are impossible to meet. I am only human and yet I have these crazy , unrealistic ideals of who I need to be. It's been hard to truly love myself and show myself the kindness that I deserve - I am 25 and I feel like I have literally nothing to show for that - at least that's what my mind keeps saying. I know I am so much more than any single accomplishment , I just forget that sometimes. I need to get out of the mindset that my self worth is linked to what I achieve. It's just not a healthy space to live.

Anyway, since I last poured out my soul - I have been to Cape Town, the Drakensberg, been teaching at a Pre School and really started showing myself the grace I deserve.

I went to Cape Town at the end of August - it truly is the Mother City. I kind of had a whirlwind trip with my favourites. I am so grateful that South Africa is my home.

Shortly after that I went to the Drakensberg - the beauty of the berg never fails to take my breath away. I went on some beautiful hikes and it really gave me time to reflect and regroup.

Working at a preschool was so bucket filling for me. I feel like my bucket has been empty for a while and the only thing that could fill it was working with the little's again. I am locum teaching and they've asked me to come back in October again - very exciting!

I am honestly my own worst critic - I tie my self worth with what I achieve, relationships that I have, how I look physically and if I'm not achieving , the guy I like doesn't feel the same or my skin is breaking out ,I really tear myself down. Today , I am making the decision to love myself with no conditions - I am enough just because I am me.

Here's to being more patient and kinder to myself and having gratitude for all the little things which are actually the HUGE things.